The Decision
by NikitaSamuelle
Summary: Chakotay's curiosity turns into something far more than he expected.


**Chapter 1**

"Five more minutes, and I'll be off shift." Chakotay relished the thought. It had been a rough few days, fighting the Gimlon, and then repairing the ship. Chakotay actually found putting the ship back to optimum performance a very rewarding, if sometimes tedious task. In fact, now that he thought about it, he experienced that kind of satisfaction through out his life. Bringing order back from chaos. "One more thing to be grateful for," he whispered to himself and the spirit guide he believed led him.

The turbo lift doors swiftly parted to reveal Ensign Harry Kim to relieve Chakotay of the command chair. As of the last three months Mr. Kim had been in command rotation and doing a commendable job. He gives every indication of being capable of command if he chose to pursue that career path in Starfleet. When they returned to the Alpha quadrant. "When, not if." A distinction Chakotay was always careful to make in his thinking.

"Ready to relieve you of command, sir," Ensign Kim said formally.

"It's all yours, Ensign." Chakotay practically jumped out of the seat; so happy to have an extended period of time to himself to do something he had been meaning to do for years.

Chakotay caught the funny look Kim was giving him. "Problem, Ensign?" I sure hope not, Chakotay hoped.

"No sir. It's just you seem…," at a loss for words, he finally said "hot plans tonight?"

Chakotay gave a slight shrug of his broad shoulders and replied "Just going to read my Bible. See ya." Off he went into the turbo lift.

"Just going to read my Bible? Do you hear that Tom?" a slightly puzzled Kim asked.

In typical amused fashion Tom responded, "I hear it, but I don't quite believe it. I didn't think Chakotay's beliefs included anything from 'The Book'."

"The Book?" Kim repeated. "Why do you refer to the Bible as 'The Book'?"

"Within Christian circles it is commonly referred to as 'The Book' because it's literally considered 'The Book of Life'. As in you can live your life by what it says and have a pretty good life now and in the hereafter."

"In other words death," Harry said in a tone of ,'don't have a choice but to accept, don't want to think about it.'

Turning the pilots chair to look the Ensign in the face, Tom responded ,"Easy there, Harry. It doesn't have to be as bad as you make it sound."

Harry looked at Tom incredulously. Tom smiled rather whimsically and swiveled back to his console.

**Chapter 2**

Chakotay entered his quarters at a swift pace, as if trying to get ahead start on his precious free time. He purposefully went to the windows that offered the entrancing panoramic gaze of star speckled deep space. It immediately had the effect Chakotay sought to change his state of mind. All the stress and fatigue of the last few days fell off his being, much like sunlight spilling leisurely through a curtained bedroom window. He stood there taking in the enormity of the display before his eyes, drinking it in, becoming apart of something bigger than his own life. He felt centered, if somewhat empty.

He ordered roasted corn soup, a few slices of whole grain bread, and sparkling cherry water from the replicator. Taking his meal he headed over to his desktop and called up the Bible.

He decided to start with the first chapter in the first books of the Old and New Testaments (Genesis and Matthew), and a chapter each of Psalms and Proverbs.

Savoring the flavor of the soup, Chakotay read 'In the beginning…'

"Genesis, chapter One. So God created everything in six days and rested on the seventh. Not exactly evolution," he recorded his thoughts into his personal log.

"In verse 27 it is written that 'God created man in his own image'. In my own beliefs in a sense I am my own god. I don't think that is what this is referring to, but it does suggest in some way that man has great power, if not strictly on his own, then access to power."

Moving to the New Testament he read the genealogy that brought Jesus to Earth, and how He came into the world by a virgin.

"Matthew, chapter 1, verse 20. It says that an angel of the Lord came to Joseph in a dream to encourage him not to quietly divorce Mary and to call the child Jesus, who would save his people from their sins. I have made decisions based on dreams and visions from my spirit guide. That concept is not new to me. But, someone being born to save his people from their sins? Who are his people? Why a virgin birth and how is that possible? It sounds like a union of the spirit of God and a human. I have read and heard of similar beliefs …" Intrigued, he ended up reading all of Matthew.

A bit weary from taking in all this uplifting, yet challenging information, Chakotay stretched up from his chair and went to replicator and ordered up a Mocha and some shortbread cookies.

He sat down in his favorite chair that was positioned to give a vast view of the heavens. Sipping the Mocha and munching on the cookies, he began contemplating what he had read thus far.

It was all very hopeful to believe that Heaven is a real place and the only thing you had to do to get there is to believe that Jesus died for your sins. It seems too easy. You don't have to follow a plan, chant something over and over, or deprive yourself of the pleasures of life to become some seemingly unobtainable super spiritual person. It would seem Jesus takes you as you are, and then, if you will let Him, He will continually bring out His potential in you.

That part sounded a bit constricting to Chakotay. He had made his own decisions about his desires and potentials in this life, and felt satisfaction with the results thus far.

**Chapter 3**

It was turning out to be another slow shift. Chakotay did all the usual checks and scans as required of his position several times more than necessary, just to have something to do. He wasn't even fighting fatigue, which he was almost sorry about, because that would at least give him something to strive towards.

He caught the scent of coffee as an Ensign was coming out of the bridge break room and decided a cup of caffeine would be a very welcome diversion.

"Tuvok, I'll be in the break room, you have the conn".

Tuvok looked up impassively from his workstation at Chakotay and answered "Aye, sir", then absorbed himself back into his work, seemingly oblivious to what was going on around him.

"Vulcans are an enigma," Chakotay thought. Tuvok once told him that Vulcans have the ability to thoroughly do the task at hand, deeply contemplate some logical truth, and remain fully aware of events going on around them, all at the same time.

"In other words Tuvok, a Vulcan is never bored."

"Precisely, Commander"

"I could use some of that today," Chakotay thought, taking his brew from the replicator. His readings from the Bible have been on the edge of all his thoughts since he started reading it. The words were disrupting what he had believed true all his life, yet he felt a kind of joyous hope in that. The irony in that amazed Chakotay.

"Well, you seem deep in another galaxy".

Chakotay nearly choked on his coffee. His eyes followed the sound of the humorously sarcastic voice. Lt.Paris. Who else.

Resignedly he said "Hello, Tom".

Raising his coffee cup in a friendly salute, Tom commented, "Slow shift. I've been drifting off in my own worlds. When I almost took the ship with me, I knew it was time for a break."

"As slow as it is, I think the ship would have welcomed the diversion. Even from your fanciful mind".

"So what's going on in _your _'fanciful mind', Commander? You've seemed a bit preoccupied with something for the last week."

Chakotay wondered at the wisdom of asking this question, but he needed to talk to someone who he knew would say exactly what he thought.

"Tom, are you familiar with the Bible?"

A slight widening of his eyes gave away his surprise at the question, and then Tom became very quiet and thoughtful. Resting his coffee cup on the table he folded his hands. "I was raised on the Bible. My Mother would gather my sisters andme around the fireplace in the winter and the backyard porch when it was nice out, and read to us and then ask how we could apply the principles of the Bible to our lives."

Tom smiled slightly at the recollection. "Seems hard to believe, given my incredible propensity to do everything except what God would want of me, but I do know in the darkest times, even the one's of my own making, He's there when I cry out to Him."

"How do you know it's Him?" asked Chakotay.

"There's a kind of comforting, calming presence. A kind of peace surrounding you. Some people call it 'the warm fuzzies'." Tom answered with a perfectly straight face.

Chakotay looked Tom straight in the eyes, trying to discern if there was any hint of amusement and found nothing but humble sincerity staring right back at him.

**Chapter 4**

The brilliant-muted colors of the sunshiny autumn October day heightened his senses. Sitting in the courtyard of a popular shopping plaza, Chakotay sipped on a Café Mocha while watching the plaza activity and reading his Bible.

A shimmering glow coalesced on the chair across the table. The majestic form of a silver gray-coated wolf solidified.

"Yukon!" Chakotay gasped in surprise, "what…?" he looked around, checking to see if the other patrons in the plaza noticed his out burst. Not one head turned.

"Strange," Chakotay thought, "like they see wolves appear out of no where as a common occurrence."

The wolf gazed intently at Chakotay for a moment, then switched his line of sight to the open Bible. A low, barely perceptible growl surrounded the table.

Chakotay felt puzzled and a bit wary of the behavior of his spirit guide.

"What's wrong, Yukon?"

Yukon responded by lowering his great head and using his snout to jerk the Bible off the table. It landed with a "plop" on the red brick of the plaza.

"What did you do that for?"

Chakotay bent to pick up The Book. Just before his hand touched the maroon colored leather cover, something brushed him roughly aside, knocking the chair with Chakotay in it to the ground. Feeling dazed and bruised, he managed to get himself and the chair upright. Steadying himself on the back of the chair, he searched for his spirit guide and found the wolf at the edge of the plaza, the Bible gripped between his powerful jaws.

Chakotay started walking fast towards Yukon. The wolf observed his approach, then turned around and ambled out onto the vast meadow.

Chakotay caught up with his spirit guide and decided to walk side by side as they had so much in the past and to find out why the wolf was acting this way.

Suddenly the wolf stopped walking and started digging out huge chucks of earth with his massive paws.

Immediately Chakotay had a suspicion that his Bible was about to be buried.

"Yukon, what are you doing? I don't understand."

The digging continued.

"Why do you want to take the Bible away from me? There is truth in The Book. Why would you want to keep the truth from me?"

The digging stopped and Yukon released his grip on the Bible and seemed to watch with satisfaction as it fell into the hole.

"No!"

Panicked, Chakotay jumped into a kneeling position and tried to retrieve The Book that in only a week had made such a peaceful, joyful difference in his life. The wolf none too gently pushed him back from the hole, and once again Chakotay landed on his back. Recovering quickly this time, he stood up and made for the hole, determined to get The Book safe in his hands.

The wolf blocked his way. Chakotay tried going around Yukon, but to no avail. Finally, in desperation, Chakotay took a dive over Yukon. He made it to the other side and grabbed The Book out of its coffin and held it to his chest.

Yukon slowly walked over to Chakotay till he was right in front of him and stretched his body upward, putting his paws on either side of Chakotays' muscled shoulders, as he had so many times before.

Chakotay stared into the eyes of his spirit guide and asked one more time softly, "Yukon, what's wrong?"

The wolf seemed about to go into a grin and Chakotay expected to see the frightful canines of his kind, but saw to his astonishment huge razor sharp triangle shaped teeth that looked to belong in the mouth of a shark. An unearthly angry snarl vibrated from the wolf, engulfing Chakotay till he felt suffocated in mind and body. Yukon's hot and pungent breath traveled from his face to his neck. The hideous teeth were opening as wide as they could stretch. Chakotay whispered ,"Jesus…!"

**Chapter 5**

"JESUS!"

Chakotay woke up to the sound of his own terrified voice. Breathing hard and in a cold sweat, he looked around his quarters trying to wake up.

"Computer, lights."

A soft reassuring glow filled the room. His breathing evened out. Looking to the bedside stand he saw the small maroon colored leather Bible he had replicated and gratefully, thankfully held it to his chest. He opened to John 3:16 and read: "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."

Laying the Bible open on his lap, head bowed, Chakotay prayed, "Jesus, I started reading the Bible just to fulfill my curiosity, but your words are so powerful, true, and comforting to me. I've come across things I don't understand or agree with. I have apparently upset my spirit guide, who I considered my friend as well as my guide. In my dream he was going to kill me for reading your word. If he wanted to scare me it worked, but not the way he thinks."

The realization of what he just said reminded him of the verse, 'And everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.'

"I whispered your name through my fear and desperation in my dream, and you saved me. I now ask you to save me with a heart that believes you are who you say you are, the Son of God. Forgive me my sins and show me your ways so I can walk in them. Jesus, you be my spirit guide."

Immediately a Presence permeated the room. Chakotay looked around in puzzled wonder. An unexplainable joy and peace filled him up on the inside to overflowing through his natural senses. Everything appeared the same, yet colors were bolder and shapes more defined. The soft hum of the ship sounded like the comforting purr of a cat. It was as if he were enveloped in a small piece of Heaven, yet he felt freer and his mind clearer than he had since he was a child.

He pushed the covers off his body and got out of bed, feeling like he was floating, and walked to the huge windows that looked out into the infinity that can be seen in this realm. The deep beauty claimed him as it always did, but this time there was no touch of emptiness inside him. The Presence he sensed surrounding him, was also inside him, a constant companion, the savoir that saves not only in death, but also in life.


End file.
